Confession #1: Fear Follows Me.

I have recently joined the ranks of mother of three children.  I never saw myself as a member of this group, but now that I am, I am overjoyed.  It's an amazing thing to sit down at the end of the day, look at your blossoming brood, and think, "Wow!  They didn't kill me today!"

My first confession is that I see the looks on other people's faces when I enter stores, restaurants, playplaces, etc. with my little trio of fun, and I acknowledge their fear.  They see that I am grossly outnumbered, and I can see them getting all judgey and frightened.  They presume that my children will destroy said locations.  Guess what....I wonder the same damn thing.  I have a sassy (but sweet) five-year-old, a volatile (but hilarious) two-year-old, and a two-month-old (who goes from 0 to 60 in two seconds flat).  I never have ANY idea how these little ones will act, and I fear them myself, too.  I try to present a calm demeanor to not let on the fact that I am terrified that these kids might be little shits in the aisles, booth, or jungle gym.  I just cross my fingers and hope for the best....each and every time.  To be honest, when we leave the location having experienced WWIII-sized meltdowns, I am not surprised.  When we leave, and all has gone well, I am given the false sense of hope that every trip in public will be as pleasant and that we should try this again.....oh, I am continually so naive.

The other part of this confession is that I can also decode what your words means when you say them.  I leave the house on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday with only two children.  People look at me, cock their heads to the side, and say, "OHHHH, how a-DOR-a-ble....."  They think two children is acceptable and cute as heck.  When people see me on Tuesday and Thursday with all three, this is the comment I get, "Wow, you really have your hands full!"  This translates to, "WTH are you overpopulating the Earth....and taking that crap out into public???"  I guess I do have my hands full, but when I look down, all I see is a car seat on my arm and two little hands holding mine, and I realize I'd rather have my hands full than empty.